


Hands Touching Hands

by robinasnyder



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 15:02:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1748831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robinasnyder/pseuds/robinasnyder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gadreel had little tiny footed visitors, and he's more than happy to have them while they come. But all children must grow up, and when they do they leave behind what they once loved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hands Touching Hands

It was Anna’s idea, so she got to go first. Balthazar and Castiel decided to “accidentally” cause a mess. It gave her a few moments to go seek out their big brother. They used to play with him before he got assigned to guard Eden. They were told they’d get to play with him again when he came back, but when he came back he was put in prison. They were told they were too young to know why, except that Gadreel did something awful.

Anna didn’t care, though. She ran down the hall, looking to see in each cage until she stopped. “Gadreel!” She called. Gadreel looked up from the floor. 

“Anna,” he said in a hushed whisper. “What are you doing here?” 

“They said we couldn’t see you,” she said, feeling tears come to her eyes. “Castiel and Balthazar are distracting the guards so I can see you,” she whispered. She ran to his cell and grabbed the bars.

“Anna! Don’t!” Gadreel said. 

“Ouch!” Anna cried, she stumbled back and started to cry. Her hands were badly burned. 

“Anna, Anna, shhh, you must be quiet,” Gadreel said quietly, kneeling by the bars. 

“But it hurts,” Anna said, but she spoke softly. 

“It’s okay,” Gadreel said quietly. He knelt by the bars and reached out. He took her hands and healed them. 

“Thank you, Gadreel,” Anna said quietly. 

“No, Anna, thank you,” Gadreel said with a soft smile.

 

* * *

It was Balthazar’s turn to get to see Gadreel. Cas and Anna were showing off the guard, showing how they could fly for five whole minutes. 

Balthazar smiled and snuck into the prison. “Pssst! Gadreel,” Balthazar whispered. 

Gadreel looked up from the floor. He rose slowly and moved over to the bars. “Hello, Balthazar,” Gadreel said in a soft voice. He knelt by the bars so he could be closer to Balthazar’s height. “It’s good to see you again. 

“I brother you something,” Balthazar said with a conspiratorial whisper. He reached through the bars, careful not to touch, because he knew now how they hurt. He gave Gadreel a small, down feather. “My first molt!” Balthazar said in a happy, loud whisper. 

“That’s wonderful,” Gadreel said softly. He accepted the feather and touched it with such infinite care. Balthazar drew his hand out of the bars. Gadreel reached out and took Balthazar’s little hand. Balthazar grinned and started to recount the trouble he’d gotten into that way. Gadreel smiled the entire time and never let go of his hand until Balthazar had to go, even though his hand touched the bars the entire time.

 

* * *

Castiel always had the last rotation to see Gadreel. He didn’t have a gift to go with, not like Balthazar liked to bring, or stories about heaven like Anna liked to bring. While Anna distracted the guards and Balthazar stayed on watch to tell Castiel if someone was coming, Castiel snuck to the prison. 

“Hello Castiel,” Gadreel said. He moved to sit by the bars. He smiled at Castiel softly. Castiel felt like he might cry. He missed crawling into his big brother’s lap and being held and loved.

“Hello Gadreel,” Castiel said. He carefully reached through the bars so he wouldn’t hurt himself and let Gadreel take his hand. 

“It’s good to see you,” Gadreel said quietly. 

“I miss you,” Castiel said softly. “I flew today for five whole minutes! You were supposed to be there the first time I did that. You’d promised.” 

He felt guilty the second he said it. Gadreel looked heartbroken. 

“I’m so sorry, brother. I wish I could have been there.” 

“I’m sorry too,” Castiel said softly. He held Gadreel’s hand until his own arm ached almost too much to stay still and Balthazar gave the signal for him to run away. He waved when he left and Gadreel waived back.

 

* * *

Anna had not been back for a long time, being old enough to know what Gadreel did, being old enough to go into the corp and fight demons and do God’s work. She hadn’t been there in quite some time… but now? 

Gadreel looked up, surprise filling his face. “Anna?” 

“Hello Gadreel,” Anna said, walking up to the bars. She didn’t touch them, though. Gadreel right up to the bars as well. He smiled in such a soft manner. Her chest ached. 

“What are you doing here?” Gadreel asked. 

“I’m… not coming back,” she said resolutely. 

“I… you haven’t been back for a very long time,” Gadreel said. 

“No, I mean here, home, heaven. I’m not going to be coming back,” she said. 

“Oh, Anna,” Gadreel said quietly. “Are you certain about this?” 

“Yes, I am… but I needed to tell… someone.” 

“Someone who couldn’t tell on you or try to stop you,” Gadreel said. 

“Yes, precisely.” 

“Okay,” Gadreel said. He reached through the bars. She winced, knowing it burned him. Still, she reached out and touched him. 

“Thank you,” she said quietly. 

“It will be okay, Anna.” 

“You don’t believe that,” she accused. 

His only response was a complicated smile.

 

* * *

Balthazar continued to come often even after he was in the corp. He was the only one of them. He would wave to Abner as he passed and stare Thaddeus down until her went away. Balthazar was the only reason that Gadreel had any idea of what happened outside of his cell. 

He rejoiced when he heard what became of Lucifer, but wept for Michael, and he wept for Raphael and for all of them for their war they had been thrust into. 

“I don’t think I’ll be coming back,” Balthazar said. 

“Oh, you never know,” Gadreel said with a sad smile. “Anna told me the same thing, but I got to see her again.” 

“Because we dragged her back and tortured her,” Balthazar said bitterly. He saw the cold look in Gadreel’s eyes. 

“That too,” Gadreel said. 

“Too?” Balthazar asked. 

“Before she told me that she was leaving, Michael told me that he’d killed her,” Gadreel explained. 

“She went back in time, and when she did, then Michael killed her,” Balthazar said. The hard look in Gadreel’s eyes didn’t go away. 

“I was loyal to him once, but he wasn’t any better than Lucifer.” 

“No,” Balthazar said, thinking of the damage Michael had done to Raphael, to their kind hearted healer, in order to make him no choose to be a warlord. “No, he isn’t.” 

“Why do you think you’ll not be back?” Gadreel asked. 

“It’s this war,” Balthazar said softly. “I think… I think Castiel’s into something bad… and I’m not certain that I’m gonna get to the finish line on this one. And I’m sorry, Gad, I truly am.” 

“It’s okay,” Gadreel said. 

“But you’ll be alone!” Balthazar said. 

“He’s not alone,” Abner said. 

Balthazar jumped, but Gadreel smiled. 

“See, I’m not all lone now,” Gadreel said quietly. “Thank you for coming to visit so often.” 

Balthazar reached through the bars. He could heal himself when he left the prison, but Gadreel needed that touch the most.

 

* * *

The last time Castiel saw Gadreel, they had been led into a trap and Gadreel had annihilated himself in order to protect their cause. 

Castiel wondered how he’d felt, the terror he must have felt to be back in that prison. Abner was dead, Gadreel admitted his sin before they arrived at the portal. He told about the last time he saw Anna. And he told about the Balthazar coming so often. That was when Castiel admitted his own sins. Balthazar and Samandriel, Raphael and every other angel he’d killed to get where he was. 

Gadreel asked him why Castiel’s sins could be forgiven but his never could be. He asked why allowing Lucifer into the garden when he had no reason to doubt God’s brightest was worse than Castiel culling half of heaven, including friends, and innocent angels like Samandriel. 

Castiel wanted to hate Gadreel for saying that, but he couldn’t quite get past the image of Gadreel in that cage. It came to the forefront when Gadreel died. It had been buried under millennia of memories, and all the brainwashing Naomi and her ilk had done. But there it was. 

“Ah, a visitor for the prisoner,” Metatron said, standing by the bars. 

“Yes,” Castiel said. He reached his hand through the bars. His arm was too big now to not touch the bars, and it burnt him like it burnt everyone else. 

“Are you going to kill me Castiel?” Metatron asked. 

“Take my hand,” Castiel instructed. Metatron did as he was told and Castiel couldn’t decide if Metatron trusted him to not kill him, or if Metatron wished for death as badly as Gadreel had in that last moment. 

“Why are you here?” Metatron asked. 

“When I was still a fledging, I and Anna and Balthazar would sneak down here to see Gadreel. He always held out hands and told us how much he missed us. Of all of us, I am the only one left,” Castiel said. 

“You’re doing this in their memory?” Metatron said. 

“Yes, for Gadreel… because he needed it. And for me, because I think I need it too.” 

“I see,” Metatron said. He squeezed Castiel’s hand a little tighter and didn’t let go until Castiel himself withdraw his arm. By that time, Castiel’s arm was completely burned and numb with pain. 

“Thank you,” Castiel said and walked away. 

“Thank you,” he heard Metatron say as he went.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this text post: http://drawsshits.tumblr.com/post/87960642351/oh-gosh-but-what-if-cas-and-balthazar-and-anna-are
> 
> Title from the John Denver Song "Sweet Caroline".


End file.
